Halloween
by Becca the fiend
Summary: Sometimes, Watanuki is justified in his anger towards Yuuko. This is one of those times. Not that anyone cares, though. He should have seen this coming, realy. Oneshot. Hinted DouWata. Crack-ish.


Disclaimer: Not mine. :(

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"But if all you had to look forward to in life was struggling to keep the zombies away, and you knew it was a nearly impossible task, wouldn't you eventually become depressed, and commit suicide?"

"Some people would. But it would depend on what the zombies were like."

"Yeah! There are lots of different zombies in the books and movies Mokona sees. Some zombies are nocturnal, and others are stronger, and some can be really fast! There's no way we could know what type of zombie would be attacking in this world."

"Oh, you're right! I forgot about that."

The thrilling conversation on the zombie apocalypse is cut short when another voice, this one rather muffled by the wall across the room, carries over to the three conversing.

"Yuuko, you've got to be kidding me. I can_not_ go around in this _thing_ you've given me! It's ridiculous!"

The woman standing by the door on the far side of the room snickers a little.

"Oh, but Watanuki-kun, it's Halloween! Lots of people wear silly costumes tonight," Yuuko Ichihara explains as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. A dull growl sounds from the other room.

"I know that, but couldn't you have gotten some other costume for me, if you were going to insist I wear one? There are many other costumes that I wouldn't have _minded_ wearing," Kimihiro Watanuki retorts through the door.

"Oh, but where is the fun in that, Watanuki-kun?"

The glare that the teen sends the Dimensional Witch through the door is felt by all in the room, yet seems to amuse the tall woman goading her part-timer even further.

"Are you finished changing yet, Kimi-chan? Everyone's waiting out here for you~"

The silence following the woman's question is just as palpable as the glare from moments before, making the two other teens extremely curious as to what exactly this costume is that's caused all this fuss from Watanuki.

"I am not coming out of here with this thing on," Watanuki finally says after a minute, sounding even more adamant than usual.

"If you don't, I'll increase the number of hours you must work," Yuuko threatens. There's a pause for a few moments, as the teen actually seems to be considering this option. The woman merely grins before continuing, innocent tone not matching her smug expression at all.

"If you don't leave that room now, I'll increase your hours, _and_ make you wear a maid uniform."

"....You wouldn't," the boy answers, sounding utterly horrified by this idea.

"Would you really like to test that theory, Watanuki-kun?"

Slowly, reluctantly, the door opens to reveal the irate and embarrassed form of the part-timer. The other female in the room giggles rather excitedly, clapping once in her glee as she processes the boy's costume.

"Ooo, we match, Watanuki-kun!" Himawari exclaims giddily. And, indeed, she is correct, as both teens are clad in nearly identical gold cheerleader outfits, complete with pleated miniskirts. The tops are trimmed with scarlet along the arm holes, neckline, and bottom, and the matching pom-poms have gold and scarlet mixed in. The only difference between the two costumes, in fact, was the presence of a large, scarlet 'D' placed smack dab in the center of the male's top, and lack thereof on the girl's costume.

Watanuki grimaces when he realizes the aforementioned fact is true, and then his eyes drift to Doumeki, the final human in the room, and the only other male. The change is immediate once the smaller male notices the archer's costume. His expression morphs into one of pure, unadulterated outrage, and he whips around so fast to face the Dimensional Witch so fast that Doumeki wonders how he doesn't get whiplash from the movement.

"Why the hell does _he_ get to be in a male costume, and I have to be a _cheerleader_?" the boy hisses, flailing in Doumeki's general direction, pom-poms flying away from him.

For once, Doumeki can't help but feel Watanuki is at least a little justified in his anger. Despite how delicious the spirit bait looks in his cheerleader uniform, finding out that the other male in your group is dressed as the star football player-in a scarlet jersey with a gold '04' printed on the front and back-while you're supposed to be the head cheerleader can't be the best thing to find out. Though Doumeki thought the cheerleader outfit suited Watanuki better. Watanuki was pretty feminine as it was, anyway, though the fact that the 'D' on Watanuki's chest was clearly meant to represent Doumeki himself certainly influenced this opinion.

Yuuko, in the meantime, had only ginned wider in response to the boy's flailing. She, too, is dressed according to the theme she'd set, clad in a pair scarlet soffe shorts, and a tiny white tank top. Around her neck hangs a whistle, and her long, black hair is tucked messily into a scarlet and gold baseball cap. To complete the ensemble, she carries a basic wooden clipboard, making her look like a nearly indecent cheer coach. Which Doumeki is sure she really is, in some other universe. For a brief moment, he feels a bit of pity for those girls, until he realizes that this whole costume set was probably them in other universes, and must to quickly banish the images of Watanuki doing flips in his little skirt. Those mental images could wait for later, thank you very much.

"Why, Watanuki, Doumeki, as the star quarterback, needed the head cheerleader as his boyfriend! It just wouldn't do for you to be another football player," Yuuko finally replies to her employee. Said teen flushes deeply at the implications of her words. Finally, he manages to growl a retort.

"I hate you."

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AN: I know it's not technically Halloween yet, but I'll be busy on Haloween, and the day after, and I wanna get the next chapter of Bar done, and get a Tsubasa Halloween fic up, so I decided I'd upload this now. Also because it amuses me. Lol.

So.. yeah, this is kinda inspired off of my short crack fic with Cheerleader!Watanuki, and Quarterback!Doumeki, and CheerCoach!Yuuko. Except now Watanuki's more in-character this time... Lol. And he actually has the 'D' on his chest. And Doumeki appreciates Yuuko's sick sense of humor very very much. But then again, don't we all?

And yes, I have actually had conversations about the zombie apacolypse before with my friends. My view was that of Himawari's first statement. I think it'd eventually get depressing, no matter what type of zombies you were dealing with... And no, I don't know why Doumeki, Himawari, and Mokona decided to discuss the zombie apacolypse. I just felt like opening it like that. Lol.

And that's all I have to say about this. Keep your eyes peeled for chapter 8 of Bar, and for my Tsubasa Halloween fic. The latter of the two is bound to be humorous. And as for the former, well.. hopefully that'll have some humor, too. It all depends.

Don't forget to tell me what you thought! Happy early halloween, dudes! Tell me what you're dressing up as, if you'd like. I'm going as Tuxedo Mask. xD


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